If My Friends Were Wrestlers.......

So I've actually gotten some positive feedback about my Power Rangers article and a few suggestions for making simillar posts like that. So here is one that I thought could be pretty fun. Remember being a kid (or in my brother's case a 20-year-old) and watching the WWF? None of this WWE crap. I tried watching it a few times and they have just watered down and pussified the product so much its almost unbearable. What is a "John Cena" and why does he have a place in the squared circle? Anywho, lets send down to good ole JR and get this slobber-knocker rolling.





So to be fair, I'm trying to make funny-ish connections and staying away from the more bad-ass / iconic wrestlers i.e. The Rock and Stone Cold.


Kickin' it of we're gonna do it, doggggg-eeeeeee-sstyyyyyleeeeee. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. D-Generation-X, proudly brings to you, your WWF, TAAAGGGGG TEAAAMMM CHAMPIOOOONNSS OF THE WORRRRLLLLDDDD! The Road Dog Jesse James. The Bad Ass Billy Gun. The NEW. AGE. OUTLAWWWWWWWWWWSSSS!!!! .................Sorry couldn't help myself there. But yea anyways who could forget this duo? In my WWF I have Tom as the Road Dog and Dustin as the one and only Mr. Ass. I can just see Tom preaching to the crowd while Duston does the little lip puckering thing that Billy Gun does and of course pointing to his ass. Plus I'm pretty sure only Dustin could pull off the Mr. Ass theme Song...........and if you ain't down with that I GOT TWO WORRRRRRRRRDDDDDSSS FOR YA!!!!!!!!





Tell me you can't see Dustin rolling in to this.....



Next up we have the Five Time....Five Time...FIVE TIMEEEEEEEEE World Heavywieght Champion! Booker T............yea this is Robby....yup he got the black guy again.....plus I think he has a similar pair of tights.......



Contending for the Intercontinental Title we have a slightly underrated and very entertaining wrestler. Hes smooth with the ladies and borderline extremely creepy. I'm talking about the Big Valboski, Val Venus. The only person that I know that could come close to recreating this towel-whipping, gyrating, potentially homo-erotic competitor is Perm. They have very similar styles...creepy to the point of confusion...and somehow gets the girl.




Ok Ok I know you've all been waiting for Cooper. Well here it is. Cooper is Dude Love. Not Mankind, the grizzled loveable warrior. Not Cactus Jack, the man willing to put his body on the line. And definitely not the hilarious Commissioner Foley. He is Dude Love. The strange, off kilter, random-ass character.




OK so for this next one I'm going to have to tap into modern-day wrestling just because this is such a layup. The wrestler is known as Seamus. Hes supposed to be all Scottish and shit. If you ask me, they just had Seth die his hair red and step in the ring.



Of course I had to throw that Dirty Dog in there somewhere. I had to do some solid thinking for this one, but I think I found a good one. Hes got a similar swag to his step and both of these guys can get a little loud. I'm talking about the Boss's boy, Shane-O Mac. He also has one of the best theme songs of all time.



This wouldn't be a blog post without a shoutout to eguarino. In the second closest look-a-like, in walks X-Pac. I could absolutely see Evan hitting someone with a Bronco-Buster.



Finally we come to one Jason, Boom Baby Belsito. This one was also a layup. I had to go slightly modern day for this, but I'm sure you'll all agree with this call. Here's the little fella from the Emrald Isle....Hornswoggle.